The Real Truth
by EverlastingDarkness
Summary: An on going drabble series with very odd crack!pairings. Some that might make your eyes bleed. The author is not responsible if blood suddenly spurts from your eyes... or nose.
1. Chapter 1

_**Midnight Snacks**_

Xaldin, the II member of Organization XIII came down from his room wearing a fluffy pink night robe. He scratched his bum nonchalantly, making his way to the refrigerator. Brushing his brown locks of hair behind his ears he began his search for something to eat. "Demyx never gets any good food." He complained, slamming his fist in to the refrigerator door. It had been Demyx's job to get the food for the week, but he either ate it on the way home, or he doesn't even do it.

However, Xaldin settled for the last little bit of chicken left over from dinner and sat down at their large, round table. Who suggested a round table anyway? Every time they ate together, which was rarely, he felt like he was part of the Knights of the Round Table. The table was round, for God's sake!

Off that rant, he took a rather large bite of a chicken leg, ripping the meat off the bone. To some, the scene might've been pretty gory. It, well… used to be part of a sweet, innocent chicken! But, no one could complain. Xaldin _was _a gory guy, after all. And the chicken was dead anyway, so--

"Whatcha eatin'?"

Xaldin seemed to jump three feet in the air while letting out a girlish scream. "Oh, it's only you, Saix." He sighed in relief.

"What'd you think it was? A heartless?" Saix asked smugly as he moved from where he was previously standing, which had been right behind Xaldin, and sat down in a chair. "Please, they aren't that smart."

"Shut up." He muttered, taking yet another gory bite out of the chicken leg. Saix giggled to himself. "What's so funny?"

"Well, that's what happens when some one comes up from behind me!"

"Like when Sora totally PWNed you?"

Xaldin raised an eyebrow as he stared at Saix, confused. "What's PWNed?"

"Never mind." Saix took a chicken wing from the plate of left over chicken and chewed on an end. "'Sides, you should be able to figure it out."

Xaldin pouted. "But I can't. Tell me!"

"I don't wanna."

"I'll do anything!"

"Anything I want?"

"Yes! Just tell me!" Xaldin grabbed Saix's sleeve and sobbed into it. "I wanna know!"

Saix leaned down and whispered something undecipherable into Xaldin's ear. "Deal?" He inquired.

"As long as we do it in my room." Xaldin added. "Your room is a mess."

"Ok, ok." Saix laughed.

And the plate of gory, left over chicken was discarded and forgotten, left for Demyx when he came down moments later for some midnight snacks, only to hear faint moans coming from the inner corridor. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

**The end!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A Problem He Just Couldn't Figure Out**_

_It began late one night, deep in the bowels of Radiant Garden's castle, where Ansem the Wise was studying…_

"Damn." Ansem muttered, pounding his fist on the desk, scattering his various papers of notes. "It just doesn't make since!" He leaned back in his chair with a sigh. Perhaps he had been working too hard. Yeah, that had to be it. Maybe some left over chicken would calm his nerves.

Thing is, he didn't think he _had _any chicken.

"Um, sir? Are you ok? I heard a loud 'bang', and I wondered if everything was all right in here."

Ansem the Wise glanced up. One of his apprentices, Xehanort, stood in the doorway. "Oh, I'm fine…"

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

Xehanort nodded. "I'll be going then."

"Wait!" Ansem glanced around cautiously. "I could use some company, if you don't mind."

Xehanort smiled softly. "I'll return in a moment."

When he did return, about five minutes or so later, he carried a bottle of wine and two glasses. "What is that for?" Ansem asked.

"Thought you could use a drink." Xehanort replied. "If you don't want it, I can always…"

"No, no, no! My throat is quite parched. Good idea, Xehanort."

"Thank you." He took a seat across from Ansem, pouring an even amount of wine in each glass and handing him one. "So, have you figured it out?"

"Unfortunately, no." Ansem took a sip of the wine. "It's so frustrating! It doesn't make any since what-so-ever!"

Suddenly, Xehanort was next to Ansem, leaning down. "You'll figure it out." And he closed the space between them, pressing his lips to Ansem's. "Goodnight."

Ansem watched Xehanort leave. "What the bloody hell?"

**The end!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Tardiness can be a GOOD Thing**_

Kairi sprinted down the halls of Garden High, already late to class. The halls were empty, echoing the pounding of her footsteps back to her. "Damn stupid daylight savings time." She muttered, turning a sharp corner.

Today had been the first day in her 16 years to ever have to change her clocks. And her family had forgotten to do it. Yeah, they remembered this morning, all right. Too bad she was already late.

Turning yet another corner she skidded to a stop in front of her locker. She typed in her six numbered password into the keypad on her locker and it beeped, the door slowly opening. She quickly unzipped her backpack and threw a couple of books from her first couple of class periods in it before zipping it back up and racing off to class. This said class was on the upper floor.

Before she could get anywhere, a blonde haired teen, probably about 17 or so, stepped in front of her. "Hey, Kairi! Whatcha doin'?" The guy asked smugly.

Kairi flipped her hair and smirked. "Cuttin' class _again_, Demyx?"

"Maybe." He replied flippantly. "What about you? I've never seen you _late_ before."

"That's because I've never _been_ late." She retorted. "So move."

"Ah, I don't really feel like it."

Kairi glared at him. "You're such a bastard."

"Don't I know it."

She scoffed, pushing past him. His swift arm caught her own and pulled her back. "Hey!"

"Don't I get a goodbye kiss?"

"Go to hell."

Demyx laughed. "Even hell wouldn't accept me!"

"You got that right." Kairi turned to leave again. "You better get to class before you get an after school."

"Screw detention. I'd only go if you were there."

Kairi faced him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Demyx walked closer to her. "I want you."

"Oh, go screw yourself."

"How 'bout I screw you?"

She backhanded him. "Like I said, GO TO HELL!"

Demyx touched his cheek tenderly. "That hurt, Kai. You know I'm only playing."

Kairi smirked. "Yeah, I know." She stood on the tops of her toes so their eyes met. "And you know I'm only playing with you." With that comment, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Now, I really have to get to class."

Maybe it had been a good thing she had forgotten to change her clock.

**The End!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Game**_

Axel grinned to himself as he entered the room, appearing in some sort of town. "So this is the boy's memories." He said aloud and glanced at a sign. It read Traverse Town. "Traverse Town, eh? Hmm… I wonder where he is…"

He entered the second district and glanced around. He still didn't find him, but instead found a mob of Heartless. With a sigh, he waved a hand and they disappeared, a smirk playing on his lips as he walked into the back alley.

"Not here either. It's just an empty--" Scratch that thought. There was a man at the end of the alley with long, brown hair and dressed in black leather. "I'm guessing that's some one from his memories." Axel moved and walked closer. "Oi!"

The man turned, drawing his sword. "Who are you?"

Axel raised his hands in defense. "Whoa, man! I'm not going to do anything. I just wanted to ask a few questions."

He lowered his sword. "Whatever."

"First-- What's your name?"

"…Leon."

"Name's Axel. Now, have you, by chance, seen Sora?"

Leon shrugged. "Maybe. But, why should I tell you?"

Axel walked closer to Leon and peered up at him, though their height difference wasn't by much. "Cause I want to know."

Leon smirked, deciding to play a game. "What're you gonna do for me?"

"Anything you want if it gets me the answers I need."

Leon seemed happy that Axel had agreed to play his game. "Really? Well, how far would you go for these answers?"

"As far as you want." Axel breathed.

Surprisingly, Leon gave in at that, pressing his lips to Axel's. Axel's eyes widened at first, shocked that this man who technically isn't real and won't remember a single thing about this moment thanks to the effects of Castle Oblivion, was kissing him. And he was enjoying it himself. But, didn't he love--

Leon pulled away. "He went to the third district."

"Oh, thanks." Axel muttered, a slight blush creeping across his cheeks. "Um, what just--"

"Forget about it. It was payment, remember?" Leon winked, walking away.

Axel blinked. Too bad they'd never meet again. "He'd be a great sex partner."

**The end!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Cloud**_

"_You are to look up information about clouds on the internet. Include pictures._

Olette thought back to what her teacher had said as she stared at the computer screen. She had to study clouds, right? What kind of assignment is that? "I'll, uh… look for pictures." She decided. She could be a really bad procrastinator.

Looking up information on clouds had to be the most boring assignment in the universe.

"Cloud… she drawled as she typed it in the search bar.

However, the pictures that came up, weren't of clouds.

A man with blonde hair that stuck up in spiky tuffs decorated the screen.

Olette clicked on of the images in curiosity. "Cloud… Strife?"

It seemed this 'Cloud' was a famous actor. But, if this was so, how come she didn't recognize him?

Oh, wait. He was a _porn _star.

Olette screamed as she clicked off the image she had brought up. She totally wasn't expecting that.

But, he was really hot.

"Maybe just a little peek…" She told herself as she looked at the pictures again.

Let's just say her project didn't get done last night.

**The end!**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Faint**_

Yuffie twitched. She twitched some more. And she kept twitching.

"Quit it." Leon commanded, getting annoyed by the hyperactive ninja.

She stood up and folded her arms. "But I can't!" She whined with a stomp of her foot. "I wanna see Fuu!"

"I told you yesterday, we're not going to Twilight Town!" Leon shouted. "So stop twitching!"

"Leon…" She drawled. "I haven't seen Fuu in a week. I miss her."

"Well, that's too bad."

"I hate you." Yuffie huffed.

Now Leon felt bad. Yuffie couldn't be mad at him. "Well, I guess we could--"

"THANK YOU, LEON!" She cried, clinging to his arm.

"But first, who's Fuu?"

"My girlfriend."

Leon fainted.

"What'd I say?"

**The end!**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Oops!**_

(A/N: Information not accurate but I had to make to work with the story.)

Sora threw his arms out as he jumped in the air. Donald and Goofy were now gone from where they had previously been standing as Sora took on a different form. It was an unusual form, where he now hovered in mid air, his dual Keyblades the Oblivion and the Oathkeeper floating behind him.

He observed himself in the mirror that had been conveniently placed in the Usual Place in Twilight Town. "The hell?... Why am I floating? Is that really me? It can't be!"

Suddenly, the Oblivion went flying at the mirror. It recoiled back behind him.

"My god! It reacts to my emotions!" He shouted as he studied the now cracked mirror. An evil grin spread across his face as he began thinking evil thoughts about said mirror.

"Um… Sora?"

Sora screamed as he turned and a Keyblade flew towards the mysterious intruder. Or should I say intruders. "Oops…" He said sheepishly. "Sorry, Zexion, Hayner."

Hayner lashed out at Sora, but Zexion held him back with his arms around the blonde's waist. "Don't worry about it." Zexion murmured into the boy's ear.

"But he!... mmm…" Hayner calmed down as Zexion nibbled on his earlobe.

"So, what's wrong, love?" Zexion asked.

Sora shrugged. "Just having fun!" He smiled. "Did you know that this form reacts to my emotions? It's so cool!"

"It could be used for other things too…" Hayner said as he and Zexion walked closer. He tugged at the hem of Sora's pants, starting to undo them as Zexion moved to the other side.

"You both aren't thinking to--"

"Oh, we _are_." Zexion whispered, fumbling with his own pants.

As soon as their pants were off, Hayner and Zexion began their work, Sora crying out in pain and pleasure.

Suddenly, there was a bright light and Sora hit the ground with a light thud.

"I hate fusing." Donald muttered.

"Yeah. It's weird that we feel everything Sora feels." Goofy added.

Donald nodded. "Though, there was a different feeling this time. It was weird."

There was a soft moan from behind the two and the turned.

Sora flushed a bright shade of red.

**The end!**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Fantaji**_

Sora stared "goo-goo" eyed at the TV screen as it showed a full scroll of a blonde video game character in a skimpy outfit, drool spilling out of his mouth. "Y. R. P. In position. It's show time, girls." She said in to a small microphone on her shirt.

He squealed. "Oh, Rikku…" He sighed.

One would say he had an obsession. A HUGE obsession.

With Rikku, from Final Fantasy X. Or, rather, X-2. He said her outfit was hotter.

Of course it was. To him, anyway.

"That's right! Kick that guy's ass!" Sora shouted as he punched the air, watching Rikku completely beat up one of the guards.

Let's see. This was his tenth time starting a new game. He's already beaten it nine times.

_Nine_.

In two months.

That's how sad it was.

"I wish I could totally meet her." He said with a sigh. "She is so hot."

Let's take a look at his room, shall we?

Posters of Rikku were plastered on the wall. Computer printed pictures were tacked up and scattered about the room. Several different action figures of Rikku decorated shelves. His bed sheets had the three main characters, Yuna, Rikku, and Paine, but his pillow was all Rikku. He even had a life size poster of her. He, uh… did things to it.

_Bad_ things.

Things I can't mention.

Hello! Does rated teen mean anything to you?

Let's also look at his main game's stats.

Rikku was total pwnage to _everything_.

She sat on ALL their heads.

Then the power suddenly went out. Sora looked outside and frowned.

It was storming.

"Dammit!" He shouted. Of all the rotten luck. But then he looked over at the life size Rikku.

He was going to have fun tonight.

**The end!**

(A/N: For those who, uh… don't know. Fantaji means Fantasy.)


	9. Chapter 9

**Surprise Meetings**

(A/N: WARNING—contains hints at MPreg…)

Seymour looked down at the man he held gently in his arms. He didn't want to leave this man named Sephiroth, but the sun was rising soon. He couldn't care less. But he had to leave. He didn't have a choice.

He slyly snuck out of the bed, grabbed his clothes that had been discarded the previous night and threw them on before walking to the door. "Bye, Sephiroth." Seymour murmured as he slipped out the door.

Sephiroth awoke moments later to find himself alone in a hotel room bed, the sheets still warm from where the other body had been. "Seymour…" He breathed. "I hope we meet again."

_Xx Five Years later xX_

"Daddy! Look at that toy!"

"Don't touch it, Setzer."

Setzer looked up at his father, flashing the ever cute puppy dog eyes. "Will you buy it for me, daddy?"

Sephiroth picked up the toy yo-yo and gazed at it, the reflection of the sun shining brightly off it, causing him to shield his eyes. "I suppose."

Setzer jumped up and down. "Yay! Thank you, daddy!"

"Sephiroth?"

He turned. "It's… it's you." Sephiroth whispered. "What're you doing here, Seymour?"

Seymour shrugged. "Shopping."

"I see." He picked up his son who had been reaching for another toy.

"So, this is your son?"

"Yep. Setzer, meet your other daddy, Seymour."

Seymour's eyes widened. "You mean…"

Sephiroth nodded.

"Oh shit."

**To be continued…**

(A/N: This story is thanks to my friend, Reign, who thinks Setzer is the child of Seymour and Sephiroth. Thanks, Reign, for rawking my world!)


	10. Chapter 10

_**Y'know**_

"I can't believe you beat Seifer, y'know!"

"What were you thinkin', ya know?"

"That's so amazing, y'know!"

Roxas twitched. Could some one _really_ be this annoying? It was more annoying than hearing some one say 'yo' after almost every sentence. It was more annoying than Fuu and her one word sentences.

"Are you listenin', y'know?"

How could Roxas listen? He couldn't understand a word Rai ever said. He was always focused on the 'y'know'.

"It was so funny, y'know!"

"Heh, sure…" Roxas sighed, rubbing his temples.

Rai smiled. "It was, y'know! I mean--"

Without so much as another thought, Roxas pressed his lips to Rai's to shut him up.

Needless to say, Rai never said another 'y'know' again.

**The end!**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Wendy's Frosty**_

"What the hell is that?"

Xigbar looked down at the cup in his hand. "It's a Wendy's Frosty. Haven't you ever eaten one?"

Luxord shook his head. "Nope."

"Now _that's _sad." Xigbar dipped his spoon in to it, swirling it in small circles. He scooped a spoonful and let it slide off the spoon into his mouth. "It's _so_ good."

"Is it a solid or a liquid?" Luxord asked out of curiosity.

"It's a soquid."

"A soquid?"

"Yeah. Not a solid or a liquid. You eat it with a fpoon." He held the spoon in front of Luxord's face, a smirk playing on his lips.

"Don't you mean 'spoon'?"

"No."

Luxord cocked an eyebrow. "Sure…" He drawled.

"Wanna try some?"

"I don't--"

"You know you do." Xigbar teased, moving the Frosty covered spoon back and forth in front of Luxord's face.

Luxord knocked Xigbar's hand the spoon went flying elsewhere, his own lips twisting into a slight smirk.

"My fpoon…" Xigbar pouted.

"We don't need it." Luxord whispered, dipping his finger into the Frosty. "This is much better." He scooped a bit out and held it up to Xigbar's lips. "Eat it."

"Gladly."

Wendy's had no idea what would spawn from their famous soquid.

**The end!**

A/N: Basically, the idea for this drabble came from those Wendy's Frosty commercials, and, I dunno, it just _screamed_ crack!pairing.

I blame Wendy's.


	12. Chapter 12

_**The Great Sephiroth**_

"_Last night the Great Sephiroth struck again. This time it was in the back alley of Traverse Town with a young man that had blonde spiky hair. He can't remember anything of the event except for meeting Sephiroth in a nearby coffee shop in the Second District." _A picture of Sephiroth appeared on the television screen as the newscaster went on. _"If you see this man, I suggest you take of in the opposite direction, screaming at the top of your lungs and find a small hole to hide in. And on to other news…"_

Kairi turned the TV off. "You have to admit, Selphie. He _is _hot."

Selphie nodded. "Reminds me of Riku."

"Is Riku a sadist bastard that likes to rape people?"

"Yeah." She joked.

"Then I suppose you're right." Kairi agreed, going along with the rather mean joke. There was a moment of silence between them.

"Sephy wants to rape you…" Selphie said out of the blue in her most demonic voice.

Both girls cracked up laughing.

"I'm gonna go get some snacks." Kairi stuttered, trying to soothe her laughter. "You get a movie ready."

Selphie gave Kairi a thumb's up."

"Hmm… now what to eat…" Kairi drawled as she searched through her kitchen cabinets. "Popcorn? We _are_ watching a movie…" She mused to herself as she opened the package and stuffed it in the microwave.

"Popcorn. Nice choice."

Kairi turned and screamed.

The Great Sephiroth was half way through her window.

And he was stuck.

"Can you help me?" He asked, hand extended.

Kairi screamed again. However, her screams were drowned out by the TV blaring in the front room. She tried screaming louder, but to no avail.

"Look, I'm stuck. Can you please help me?"

She looked at Sephiroth. He seemed so gentle and kind. "I--I guess." She grabbed his hand and pulled. She got caught off balance and fell, bringing Sephiroth with her.

He landed on top of her in a very uncomfortable position. "Well, aren't you cute. I usually go for guys, but--" He kissed her lightly. "--I guess I can make an exception."

Kairi just laid there, dazed and confused…

"_Kairi? Kairi!"_

Kairi shot up. "Huh?"

"You fell asleep. I found you just laying here on the floor." Selphie stated. "What happened?"

She looked around, noticing she was, in fact, on the floor of the kitchen. "I dunno."

"Well, let's just go watch the movie."

And outside Sephiroth smirked, disappearing down a dark alley. "Maybe we'll meet again. I'd love to learn your name."

**The end!**

**Or… is it?**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Surprise Meetings (continued…)**_

_(A/N: Hints at MPreg)_

"You're fucking kidding me."

"Don't say that in front of Setzer!"

"But it's not even poss--"

"Oh, it's possible. And painful at that."

"How come you didn't tell me?"

"I had no way to contact you."

"You're rather calm about this."

"Well, it _has_ been five years."

Setzer rolled his eyes and walked down a random toy aisle in the store. A toy race car caught his eyes, and he ran down to go look at it. It was a remote control car, and this one was sitting out so small children could test it out to see if they like it or not. Of course Setzer couldn't resist and grabbed the controller, steering the car around the corner.

Meanwhile, the fathers were still talking.

"If I had known it was possible, I wouldn't have--"

"It's not your fault, Seymour."

"But you were the one that didn't want to in the first place."

"I'm happy. That's all that matters."

"Don't give me that shit!"

"Not in front of Setzer!"

Seymour glanced around. "The kid's not-- oh my God…"

Sephiroth's eyes widened as he too looked around. "Setzer? Setzer! Where are you? Setzer!" He grabbed Seymour's hand. "Come one! We gotta go find him!"

"I'll check over here!" Seymour called out as he jogged off in the opposite direction. He stopped suddenly. "What was the brat's name again? Uh… Setzer! Hey, kid, come out! Setzer!"

Setzer, now on the other side of the store, was oblivious to their calls. He glanced around nervously. "Daddy? Where are you? I'm scared…"

**To be continued…**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Real… or not?**_

"No. Way."

"Yes!"

"You didn't!"

"I did!"

"I can't believe you!"

"What? He's hot…"

"But… he lives in a computer."

Sora just glared at Riku. "I can't help it that I love Tron."

"You've gone completely mental." Riku said with a blank glare.

"Ri-ku!" Sora whined. "Leave me alone."

"I forbid you from seeing him."

"--WHAT!"

"You heard me."

Sora began to stutter, and then stomped the ground defiantly. "You can't do that! You're not my mom!"

"Trust me, I'm glad. If I found out my son loved a man that lived in a computer, and kissed him, I would ground his ass faster than he could say 'but' to defy me!"

"I think you've gone mental."

"Sora, you're the one who's taken it over the deep end. The guy isn't even real!"

"He is too and I can prove it!"

"Hey Sora! Riku! What's up?"

Sora jumped into Tron's arms. "See! Told ya he was real!"

**The end!**


	15. Chapter 15

_**Killing for Something… More**_

_(A/N: Kinda angsty. If you don't want to read it, skip to the next installment.)_

Silence.

…

Complete, utter silence.

…

Then, a loud bang. And another loud bang.

And then?

…

Silence.

Was he dead, Squall wondered, sheathing Lionheart. He hoped so. Squall didn't need _him_ on his hands any more.

He knealt down to check the man's pulse.

Yep. Dead.

Without knowing it, a tear slipped out of those stormy gray eyes, sliding down his pale cheek. He reached up and touched it, pulling his hand back to look at his now wet fingers. How could he be crying over _him_?

"Squall, come. He's dead."

Squall turned. "Auron? What're you…"

"I saw the whole thing." Auron said with a slight smile. "You killed him."

"I…" Squall stuttered.

"Now… _we_ can be together."

**The end!**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Defying All Gravity**_

"Cloud…"

"What?"

"How… does your hair stand up like that?"

"Hmm… I dunno."

Seifer reached out and touched the blonde locks, his eyes widening in shock. "There's… no gel. It deifies all the laws of gravity!"

"Duh." Cloud stated simply.

"You're a freak of frickin' nature!"

"That's going too far."

"It's the truth."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Sure…"

"Hey, I got an idea…"

_Two hours and five bottles of hair gel later…_

Cloud looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His hair was pressed firmly to his head. "Seifer…" He growled.

Then, a blonde lock decided to pop back up.

"Now that's just weird."

**The end!**

A/N: I know it's not really a crack!pairing, but I just had to post it…


	17. Chapter 17

_Author's NOTE: _Well, SpongeofHorrors said she thought I could write a GoofyX? fic using Sharpies, Koolaid, a pair of dice, a broken DDR pad, and a busted guitar, but ya know what? I did.

_**I Blame You**_

"The DDR pad broke."

Demyx glanced over at Goofy, furrowing his eyebrows. "It's your fault."

Both stared at the pad, which had now gained a hole in the middle. Goofy, out of pure boredom, reached over to a nearby table and grabbed a few colorful Sharpies.

"What're you doing?" Demyx asked, taking a sip of his cherry flavored Koolaid.

"Drawin'." The human… dog… thing stated matter-of-factly, drawing a Mickey Mouse head over the area of the pad. With a bold, black Sharpie he wrote 'Mickey wuz here' and snickered, standing back up.

"Well, at least nobody'll blame us for wreckin' the pad." Demyx commented. Goofy nodded.

Realization suddenly dawned on him and he ran to get one of his guitars. "GOOFY!" His voice roared as he came back, a broken guitar in hand. Written on the back of the guitar was the same 'Mickey wuz here' in bold. "You did this! And I chewed out the king for nothing!"

Goofy gulped. "Uh… yep, a'hyuck! Run awaaaaay!" And he sprinted off.

"Hey, that's MY line!" Demyx shouted, taking off in hot pursuit. He caught up quickly, as the dog thing was slow, and tackled him. Straddling Goofy he pressed his hands down on the dog's shoulders, leaning in close. "You OWE me for that guitar. I want my payment."

Suddenly a pair of dice hit him over the head, he looked up to see Luxord staring at him. "Not in the living room. Go find a room if you want to do that." The blonde Nobody stated. He then pulled out a deck of cards, fanning them out. "Do you know where the King is? He wrote 'Mickey wuz here' on all my cards."

Demyx glared at Goofy. "I blame you."

**The end!**

_End Author's NOTE: _Makes no sense what-so-ever but I enjoyed writing it. And it's also written in my crappy style where I put no effort in at all. But, hey, whatever!

Review, damn you!


	18. Chapter 18

**The Pole**

It was a pole. It was shiny.

Sora stared at it intently, bright blue eyes bubbling with excitement.

He had the sudden urge to dance.

His lips turned up in a seductive smirk as he walked towards the shiny, silver pole. His slender fingers wrapped around it, pulling himself closer. Loud music began thumping in the background.

Hips swaying with the music he danced, spinning himself around the pole, shimmying up and down it. His leg wrapped around the pole with one hand clutching it, leaning to the side. Then he leaned close once again to do another shimmy, following up with a leaning back pose, both hands wrapped around the pole. It was his own secret art.

Fangirls watched with undying attention, shrieking in awe over him. Some boys dressed in odd costumes raised eyebrows or puked in disgust. Parents shielded their small children's eyes and watched with horrified faces, jaws dropped.

Sora could care less. He continued to dance with the pole.

That weekend he was known as "the dancing Sora," becoming a rising star at the convention. He danced randomly to music, and anyone who saw him was lucky.

But his main attraction…

Was the pole.

**The end!**

_Author's note: This is a crack!pairing. Hello, it's a pole. Just a little weird, don'tcha think?_

_--ED_


	19. Chapter 19

So, any how, this is a guest chapter; I DIDN'T WRITE THIS. Give your thanks to Saori Aki Orimi, but review here. All reviews will be forwarded to her. Alright? Alright. Go read.

**The Evil Guest Chapter With the Pairing of DOOM**

"So, wait. _This_ is why the plan went wrong?"

"Yes."

"That's all?"

". . ." Zexion surveyed the wreckage that had once been Vexen's lab. Tables were overturned, test tubes shattered and their contents spilled across the floor. Various papers were scattered around, the ink on some of them streaked until unreadable. A single Bunsen burner still resolutely burning flickered and went out before his eyes.

"I tried to recreate the experiment, but as you see, the destruction is almost complete."

"What... exactly... happened?" Truth be told, Zexion wasn't even completely sure he wanted to know.

"Ah... I believe Demyx and Axel were 'hiding' from the Superior."

"Hiding?"

A slight blush slid across the man's face. Hm. Who knew Vexen could be so shy?

"Their... _ahem_... activities."

The eyebrow not hidden by hair rose. "Ah. Indeed..."

"Why are you looking at me that way?" Vexen took a step back, finding himself bumping against the stone wall. The other Organization member braced himself with arms to either side of Vexen's head, one hand toying with the long tawny hair.

"... Zexion?" The scientist's question was cut off by the heated press of lips to his own. He blinked wide eyes as Zexion brushed the ever-present curtain of grey-blue hair aside, fixing him with both eyes.

"Seeing as our other plan has been shot to hell, why don't we continue their... activities?"

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Sao: Well, there we have it. Hope I didn't scar Miraki too much. (waves at all the people) Hello hello! This is my thanks to Mira-chan for letting me guest-write this chapter. n.n Hope you liked it. XD

Miraki: -twitches- Eh. The only thing I didn't like was the kiss. -shudders-


	20. Chapter 20

_**Cold Shower**_

His body glimmered and glistened as light rays refracted off the beads of water sliding down his well toned chest and over his firm abs. He brushed back his long, brown hair, shaking it dry and draping his towel around his tan neck.

Demyx couldn't help but stare at the beauty before him. His jaw was surely agape seeing that drool and dribbled down his chin, pooling in his mouth. With the back of his arm he hastily wiped it away in hope that the magnificence before him didn't notice.

"Did you want something, Demyx?"

"Huh?" Demyx jerked back, looking up into stormy gray eyes. "Oh! Uh, nothing, Squall." He replied quickly and chuckled nervously, a blush spreading to the tips of his ears.

"Hn," he grunted. "Like what you see?"

"Demyx almost didn't hear it. He blinked several times, then uttered, "What?"

Squall said nothing, pulling off his swim trunks and putting on a pair of boxers. Demyx looked away, the blush on his cheeks brightening. He peeked out of the corner of his eye, and watched silently; he couldn't keep his eyes off the other male. Squall continued to dress himself and finished, turning to Demyx in loose drawstring pants and a white muscle shirt. "Well, aren't you going to get dressed?"

Demyx looked down. "I think I need a cold shower."

**The End!**

_Author's NOTE: _For those innocent ones who don't know, guys take cold showers when they're a little happy. And if you don't know what THAT means, I feel sorry for you.

--ED


End file.
